Taking Care of the Caregiver

Most of us may not realize it, but most people 65 and older live in their own homes. People tend to think that most elderly people live in nursing homes. The fact is that only about five percent of frail elderly live in nursing homes. If most seniors are living in their own communities, but are frail and need assistance, who is giving this assistance?

Most caregivers are women, part of the"baby boom" generation, with jobs, homes of their own, children, and marriages. Studies indicate that these women are the daughters, daughters in law, granddaughters, and nieces of these frail elderly.

And what kinds of assistance are they providing? Everything from making telephone calls, transportation, managing household finances, home repairs, house cleaning, personal care, companionship and custodial care such as assistance with bathing, getting around inside their homes, using the toilet, assisting with medication management, and even supervision and monitoring which could and does increase in frequency and duration as time goes on. Especially if the elder is experiencing an illness such as Alzheimer's or degenerative arthritis.

Familial caregivers comprise 70 percent of the care given to elders by the informal support network. Between one half and three quarters of these caregivers live under the same roof with the elder. One third of the caregivers are employed outside the home. With these kinds of statistics showing who is giving the care and how much care they are giving; what are the effects of caregiving on the caregiver?

In the workplace, the effects are many. Many companies are seeing an increase in the rates of workers taking unscheduled time off, being late or leaving early from work, and taking leaves of absences to care for their elderly loved ones. Absenteeism is also noted, especially, in workers taking personal or vacation days off to provide help such as transportation to a doctor's appointment. Workers are not as productive when caring for an elderly relative. The lack of sleep some caregivers experience may leave them getting work done late or below the usual quality their supervisors expect. Morale also suffers as fatigue and emotional strain coupled with competing demands of children and marriages lead to depression and anxiety. Some workers may even go so far as to sacrifice career advancement as they take increasing amounts of time off form work, some resigning and many finding no time to grab opportunities for continuing education.

What can caregivers do in the face of all these demands? First, recognize that they don't have to shoulder the burden alone. Realize that it is OK to ask for help and admit that caregiving is tougher than they expected. Second, reach out to other family members, as well as neighbors and friends of the elderly relative for help. Third, know when its time to ask for help from the services in the elders community. A good place to start is with a GCM who can assess your situation, and find appropriate help.

Another place to look is in the workplace. Many companies are realizing the demands their workers face with elder care issues and are trying to answer the cry for help. These programs run the gamut from seminars on caregiving to telephone information and referral lines. These telephone services are especially effective if the elder is living outside of the community where their family is. Other companies are allowing their employees to work flexible schedules or even put moneys into a special account for caregiving for the elderly relative. Still other companies are expanding their Employee Assistance Programs to include counseling by groups or in one on one sessions with specially trained counselors, social workers and GCM's.

Caregiving can be demanding, but it also has special rewards, such as returning the care that one's parents gave to their children when they were younger. Finding assistance when it is needed is often the way to see that everyone gets taken are of. Caregivers need to keep in mind that the strains of caregiving are often hard on the fabric of the relationship built over a lifetime. It might be better to let go of some of the burden so one can continue to enjoy the relationship they have established with their elderly relative.

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